HOW ARE YOU? I'M TIRED

have not written in my blog, it's so many that I want to convey the news of happy, sad, cry, happy. it all after all this time I did not write again in my blog. how are you? I'm confused to tell where it first.
I'll tell you a little bit, what you had to face a fear so deep? what only I can feel? maybe just me, I'm puzzled by the way that I was, I could spend more time together in silence, crying why is that? because I was given a trial by god, do I have to give up for this? help me. I myself confused in my life, I was lost, I stopped to think about the length, I'm stupid, I could just shut up and cry? what is it stupid? I want to be like they were always happy, can I? I'm not sure for that. help me god:-')